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A Bi-polar kind of day.

I'm sad. I'm just sad, sad, sad. And at other points in the day, I've been so happy I've cried.

Prop 8 looks good to pass, and while the ACLU and gay rights groups have filed an appeal to have the CA Supreme Court throw the results out as they directly contradict other portions of the state constitution, they're unlikely to do so. It gets sticky when a governmental branch repeatedly throws out voter approved legislation.

I'm really and truly heartbroken. I want so much to be excited and yelling and screaming today, and every now and again when I think about what we, as a country, have accomplished and what's coming in January and the minimum four years after, I can be for a moment. But the rest of the time, I just can't. Not when so many people I love have been effectively told that in my home state, the state that I love and am so proud to call my birthplace and home, more people support the rights of chickens and veal calves than theirs.

What's hardest is knowing that while so many Black California voters today are celebrating and talking about what a huge step forward this election was for equality, it is a fact undeniable that Black California voters, who turned out in record numbers to support Obama, overwhelmingly supported banning gay marriage. When they say that, I want to think, "Yes, you're right! This is so amazing!" And instead I think, "Oh yeah? Equality for who?"

But really, it was the Mormons. And after that, it was the middle-aged and older religious voters. And today, I feel something that I wouldn't have believed even a week ago that I would feel today. And that is that if someone doesn't believe in equality for gay people, I don't think that person is a good person.

I don't think they're a bad person, per se. But if someone actively supports inequality and oppression of another human being because of the other consenting adult that they love? I don't think the term "Good Person" applies to them. I have never felt that way before in my life, but, honestly and truly, it is how I feel today. And I can't tell you how unspeakably sad that makes me.


Nov. 6th, 2008 04:49 am (UTC)
It makes me feel bad about being married. Why me and not someone else? Why me and not ANYONE else? And my gay cousin and her girlfriend live in LA, and I wonder how they feel about this. Even if they were never considering getting married, what a great way to announce "YOU'RE NOT WELCOME!" to 3+ yr tax-paying residents.